How To Man: How To Be A Trusted Friend
One of the most important hallmarks of manhood is the quality of your male friendships.
And one of the key skills to being a powerful and trusted friend is knowing how to skillfully help a man in need.
The average man is uncertain how to ask for help from other men, and even more uncertain about how to appropriately offer help in a manly way.
In this video, my friend and mentor Nathan Charles talks about a simple and powerful way to be the kind of man that other men trust.
You can view this in youtube if you prefer by clicking here: How To Be A Trusted Friend To A Man
Please leave comments, questions, and your brilliant insights below!
William Patrick Cutright
Awesome Alex, what a great question to ask anyone… ‘what do you need’? Then I continue the conversation (within my head) asking “how can I help’? That is likely the masculine in me because yes I am a male of this wonderful human species I am honored to be a part of…. and write to
Alex Allman
Aho.
Rob Y
Excellent. Thanks, Nathan & Alex!
Elby Mann
Absolutely great! I wish he had addressed the question of how to follow-up if your friend’s response to “what do you need” is “I dunno” (or some variation of that!
Alex Allman
Hi Elby, a few suggestions:
1) Sit with him in the uncertainty. The fact of uncertainty in our lives, and making friends with uncertainty (or at least making peace) is one of the biggest challenges to becoming fully mature men. Uncertainty can be scary as fuck. But we can’t let the fear of uncertainty prevent us from taking important action in our lives. Sometimes “I don’t know,” is a statement of fact, it is the recognition that he is terrified because he is confronting the unknowable. He may just need a gentle hand on his shoulder while he grapples with that internal battle.
2) Sometimes “I don’t know” is a call to action– the invitation to solve a mystery. In this case, it is the doorway to a deeper conversation and maybe some coaching on potential resources.
3) And finally, “I don’t know” can be a cop out. Don’t let your friend cop out. This is when he needs some encouragement to move himself into category 2. You might try something like, “Just as an experiment, if you were an older, wiser version of yourself who DID know what you needed here today, what might he say?”