Two Reasons Men “Commit” In Relationships
You’ve probably heard it all:
“Men have fun with bad girls but commit to good girls…”
“Men commit when they grow up and they are ready…”
“Men commit when they really, truly fall in love…”
“Men commit if you’re beautiful enough / young enough / thin enough / _______ enough…”
“Men commit when you get pregnant and your dad owns a gun…”
And I’m sure that the women who repeat these things are full of good intentions, but you probably have enough real-world experience to have already found out for yourself–
None of these things are the real reasons men commit, and they CERTAINLY won’t make a man keep his commitments and stay loyal.
The Dirty Truth About Men
I have personally counseled hundreds of men, women and couples, and I’ve been publicly coaching men in love and romance for a decade. Over 150,000 men read my newsletters, and my Youtube videos have been viewed more than 17 million times. And the big secret I’ve learned is that men don’t necessarily commit just because they fall in love…
Though lord knows they’d be much happier if they did!
But men have some evolutionary wiring in their brain that continues to seek freedom even when he’s met a woman who is truly GOOD for him and it’s against his best interest to keep holding out.
But obviously plenty of men DO commit, and there are only two things that will trigger them to do it.
One is easy, and one is hard.
And that’s why so many women end up…
Making The Deal With The Devil
The two reasons that men commit are “sacrifice” and “devotion.”
And most of the time, the reason is sacrifice, because it’s easier, it’s expected, it’s understood, and it’s normal. But it’s a deal with the devil.
Sacrificing for something we want well understood by men. We want a sports car, and we know we have to sacrifice our hard-earned money to get it. We don’t WANT to give up our money, but we understand that an exchange must be made– a sacrifice.
And men are raised to understand that if they want a family, if they want the security of a girlfriend, if they want to keep a woman happy and loyal at home, then they are going to have to sacrifice their freedom to get it.
They are going to have to commit.
When a woman wants a man to commit, eventually she will give him an ultimatum, and the matter becomes crystal clear: “Commit or I’m gone!”
So he makes the sacrifice.
And I think it’s glaringly obvious what the problem here is, and it’s obvious that he’s going to resent this commitment.
Now many men have certain moral or religious codes of integrity that they will stand by, and they will honor their commitment. They will make the sacrifice and stick with it.
But if you’ve read the statistics, you know that most men won’t. Most men will cheat. (And honestly, to report the latest numbers fairly, so will most women).
But it’s nobody’s fault, because this idea of “sacrifice” is what is normal for us to believe about monogamy.
Sacrifice is the obvious and normal reason for men to commit.
But it’s not what he wants, and if you’re honest with yourself, is that really what YOU want?
Men Actually Crave Authentic Devotion!
The one thing that will win a man’s heart, his loyalty, and his lasting passion, is a woman who knows how to authentically trigger his feelings of “devotion.”
Men are strongly wired for devotion and loyalty. It’s the reason that a man will give his life for a friend in wartime. And it’s also the reason that you sometimes see a man who is ecstatically, and happily committed to his woman.
Devotion is the opportunity for a man to transcend his selfish impulse for something greater, for feeling like his a part of something bigger. It is the most fulfilling thing that we can experience as humans.
So why aren’t men just running around and easily and happily committing to every woman that they have feelings for?
The reason is because you can’t just “talk a man into” devotion.
Men like to think of themselves as “logical,” but the truth is that humans (both women and men), are not logical. We are emotional and we have to “feel” things to want them (like that sports care I mentioned above– it’s not logical obviously! It’s something a man feels).
*Hint: This turns out to be much more about the body – the universal language – not the mind*
When a woman knows how to trigger a man’s “devotion,” it’s greatest gift you can give him, because it allows him to be his “best masculine self,” only when he is with you.
It’s all based on intimacy, and it’s so simple once you know how. Click here to read about the 3 things that men want more than anything from a woman, but simply never get.
I promise you’ll be shocked when you find out what they are, and how they can powerfully trigger a man’s true feelings of devotion.